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Our unique range of SAM missiles and launch control vehicles is guaranteed
to be an effective addition to your arsenal. In combination with the DeathStation 9000,
this example can be controlled remotely, removing the necessity to expose your
key personnel to unnecessary field-related hazards.
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| Carrying the battle to your enemies has never been simpler. If you need to get up really close, why not get the ART Attack Helicopter Gunship, with its full load of anti-tank missiles and personnel-reduction weaponry. Our gunships have a range of 2,000 miles on full tanks. In-flight refuelling options are available. |  |
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If you don't want to get that close, A.R.T.'s range of ICBM missiles could be exactly what you're looking for. With a full fuel load, we can deliver your package to a range of 12,000 miles and guarantee to get the package to within 5 metres of the delivery address. |
| ART supplies a wide range of missiles for every occasion. Most are manufactured in-house, but occasionally we are requested to supply third-party missiles to meet specific customer requirements. Illustrated here is the Brimstone missile, capable of destroying - well, whatever you like really. |  |
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Our Air-to-Air missiles are designed using computer technology to ensure that their aerodynamic performance is fully optimised. Seen here is one of our off-the-shelf AMRAAMs. For the seriously vindictive, though, we have the Demon range. These are nasty. Most heat-seeking missiles track the enemy by its heat emissions, and home in on that heat source. By tracking a point approximately 10 metres below the heat source, Demon missiles lure the target's pilot into a false sense of security, as the missile appears to pass below his aircraft. In the last tenth of a second, however (and we do mean the last), the Demon angles sharply upwards, striking the enemy aircraft from underneath. Vicious. We love it. |
| ART control systems are what we're famous for. Pictured here is the control center at one of our Nuclear Operations Secure Environment (N.O.S.E.) installations. As you can see, it's fully equipped to manage a border skirmish, an embassy rescue, or indeed a no-holds-barred thermonuclear war. |  |
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The DeathStation 9000 consists of an array of nine thousand RISK processors, carefully synchronised to ensure that you get the maximum performance from every single processor. Because the DS9000 typically operates in stressful environments, the actual processors are secured well away from the operations room (sometimes several miles away), to ensure that they cannot be destabilized by personnel incidents or "hardware interrupts" from external sources. |
| Using our advanced ART-to-ART networking solutions, you can manage weapons of mass destruction all around the world from a single workstation in the comfort of your own bunker. All major protocols are supported, including TCP/IP and IPX/SPX. The photograph depicts a typical ART-to-ART network workstation, with the optional RAMRAID packs installed. We are particularly proud of ART-to-ART's proprietary communications option, Bypass. ART Bypass ensures that your packets arrive at their destination irrespective of the load on the Net, as they use a completely independent cable infrastructure, bypassing the normal Internet system. This is also much more secure than TCP/IP, as the possibility of crackers using packet sniffers to find out what's going on in your Nuclear Operations Secure Environment is completely eliminated. Naturally, this doesn't stop you sniffing their packets. At ART, we believe that a NOSE should sniff, rather than be sniffed. |  |
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We use only the very finest components. Seen here is a customised chip we provided for NASA (reproduced here without their permission - we have our own ways of handling lawsuits). This module controls the launching of A.R.T. Demon missiles from high-altitude fighters. (If you thought NASA didn't have military capability, you thought wrong.) The NASA-LDEMON chip is one of the most advanced, and smallest, microchips in the world. (Picture is 65536 times actual size.) |
| Our advanced research and development facilities spare no expense in bringing the right technology to the right target. Pictured here (right) is our ART Design Center, where our experts constantly strive to achieve more bang per buck. This is where the DeathStation 9000 was invented. |  |
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Kaz Khyleku, inventor of the DeathStation 9000 (left). Our personnel typically enjoy unparalleled privacy. Since Kaz is already world-famous, however, we broke our own rule of thumb to bring you this (recent) photograph, which has been carefully selected from a rather small subset of pictures that don't reveal his hunchback (which, for some reason, he wishes to conceal). |